Our little girl was so perfect in every way! She made me a mother and I wanted to desperatly make her a sibling. We started trying for baby #2 when Kamryn was only 6 months old.
After four years of trying... I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycictic ovarian syndrome). I changed my diet and gave up all carbs. I took my Glucophage (insulin resistance medicine) twice a day, as well as progesterone to keep my cycles coming.
One day... 8 years after conceiving Kamryn... I conceived again. Finally. I was able to tell Kamryn that she would be getting the sibling she had always begged for. The look on her face was priceless!
Here we are.. 2 1/2 years later. I haven't cycled in eight months. Yesterday was my first visit with my new obgyn. He wanted to do a quick ultrasound to make sure that my uterine lining wasn't too thick and take a look at my ovaries. This is what showed up...
Those little black circles are not eggs, nor babies... they are cycts all over my ovaries. I definetly have PCOS, no questions about it. Dr B. started throwing out the symptoms to me and he was right on. Overweight, acne (at 30!), splotchy skin... sounds sexy doesn't it? At least I have avoided the excessive hair growth. The chances of me getting pregnant right now are SO slim. While I am not ready to have another baby until Owen is finished with transplant, I hate that I don't have that option!
The only thing that I can do to battle this is to eat a healthy diet of mostly proteins, exercise and take care of ME. I am on a mission to get healthy! I will battle my infertility and I will win. I have done it before, so I know I can do it again! I picked up my Progesterone and Glucophage at the pharmacy today. Then I started to cry. It brought back so many feelings of frustration trying to get pregnant, feelings of failure at each negative pregnancy test, feelings of saddness that I couldn't give my husband and daughter another baby. Then I got over it. I am SO lucky to have a great husband, a perfect daughter and an amazing son.
I will take my progesterone on days 10-24 of my cycle. I will take my Glucophage every morning and before bed. I will go to the gym at 8:30 after the kids are in bed. I will watch everything I put in my mouth and enjoy all the protein packed foods that I love. I am going to battle my infertility and I will get healthy. I am going to do it for me, so that when/if we are ready to try for baby #3, I can say that I did everything I could.
17 comments:
You are in great hands, I assure you! he said Owen was so cute!
I have been there and done that with infertility- I didn't have PCOS, rather "unexplained infertility" yeah that one sucked. But after 4 years we got baby2 and now we have baby3!
Can't wait to meet you on Saturday!
Oh how I know how you are feeling with the whole PCOS situation..no fun! I will never forget the first time I saw a picture of my ovaries with cyst all over them, I thought they were follicles, boy was that a disappointment! Watching carbs is SO hard; my Dr. told me they like PCOS patients to stay anywhere from 40-80 carbs a day...A DAY! Holy cow, thats so hard!!! Although it will make you drop the weight like non other, it's hard! Feel free to email me if you want a partner in crime to vent to, I totally understand the frustrations of your body not being 'normal'!
Love, Hugs and Prayers!
What a brave and inspirational post. Praying for you and the rest of the gang, as ever.
Cxx
Way to go! Your a very strong woman. I know you can do it :P
Beautiful, inspiring, honest post. Thank you! I am so thankful for women in my (real) and (blog) life that choose to be real and share the bad along with the good. I didn't learn the importance of that until after an eating disorder almost landed me in a hospital in high school. So thank you for paving the way for a lot of women to share (maybe for the first time) of their struggles - whether it be with infertility or something else.
You strike me as such a woman who is yes, honest about real feelings of sadness and frustration, but at the same time so willing to move past those into gratitude. That is one of my most common struggles - not to stay in that place of yuck.
All to say, I will be praying with you along this journey to baby #3, praying that God's will would be done, in His time, with your determination!
Love, Jesse
You are such a strong woman - I know you'll be able to do whatever you set your mind to! Including having another child when you are ready.
Andrea I was recently told that I should not have anymore children because it would be dangerous and bad for my health. the 4 pregnancies I have had have caused bad scar tissue in my uterus, and I also had cysts on my overaies that burst and damanged my faloppien(spelt that wrong) tubes. Needless to say, I have not had your same experience but I also know I will not be having anymore children and to me it is heart breaking. I have always wanted 4 children and with Lily she was a twin, which unfortunatly lost while I was 10 weeks pregnant.
Hopefully when the time is right, God will bless you once again with a precious little miracle.
My prayers are with you like always. Give Mr.Owen a kiss from us, he truly is a warrior.
Oh on a side note, I know you are blending his food, but do you ever use pediasure for him also? If so I have a TON of it, Lily is on NG feeds right now, but once we get done,hopefully by next week, we will still have a boat load of it. I am trying to find someone who has a need for it.
Jenna
You are inspiring! I need to get the dedication that you have to take care of myself...if you can do it, why can't I?
((HUG))
oh my friend,
thank you for your honest words, and for being so inspiring at the same time.
you are in my prayers. i am proud of you mama.
love,
victoria
WOW, I am so sorry girl!!! I am so sorry you have to go through this again. You are in my prayers... you are one of the strongest people I know!!!
Andrea, you are such an inspiration!!!
Praying for you and your health. Take care of YOU for a change. All 10 fingers are crossed for you.
You can do it! Your the strongest Mamma I know!!!! Wow your overies are cramped :0) LOL Are you always in pain? Just wondering. I get 1 and almost die in pain! We will be thinking and praying for you!!! We love you guys so very much!!!!!
Andrea,
I don't know you, I live in Utah, and somehow fumbled accross your blog. Your an amazing mom. Our little family wishes your and your wonderfully inspiring family wonderful things.
-Robin
This just sucks. PCOS sucks. It kills me sometimes (well a lot of the time) how people who really should not be having kids can pop out one, after one, after one, and there are so many amazing people who deal with infertility. I hate the breakouts, the hair, the horrid periods. Yep, PCOS sucks.
I can't imagine the emotion involved with your situation. You are such a strong woman, such a great wife, and an incredible momma to your two beautiful children. You are a great example to me.
I applaud your dedication in taking care of yourself. It's hard to do, especially with the long to-do lists mommies have.
I'm thinking of you and your amazing family.
Oh, we find new similarities everyday dont we? We tried and tried for Gabriella, and PJ came with no effort. PCOS can be so difficult and emotionally painful. Big hugs to you!!! Maybe we can have our 3rd babies at the same time too.... lol!
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