When I picked up Kamryn from school today, I was shocked to find she was in a too tight tee with no bra. When I asked her where her clothes were, she said she was stopped at parent drop off by one of the 'on duty' teachers. The teacher told her that her clothing was "inappropriate" and that she needed to go directly to the nurse. Not only did this cause her to be late to class and she received an "unexcused" tardy, but the nurse couldn't find anything that fit. Instead of calling me, because that would make sense, they let her go around school in a too tight tee.
District dress code is "no spaghetti straps", but you can wear a shirt over or under. The straps at your shoulder have to be 2" wide, which hers were actually about 3" wide. So yes, she was wearing spaghetti strap tank with a bra built in, but she also had a vest that covered her shoulders. Partnered with a pair of bermudas, she was following code.
Perhaps I am mad for no good reason, but if she had no bra on and you put on a tight tee, isn't that more inappropriate and embarrassing than what she was originally wearing? Another issue I have is that she has worn this outfit many, many times in the past. On a daily basis, Kamryn has four to five teachers, and never has her wardrobe been an issue.
Ugh. I'm finally cooling down. I will tell you that my blood was boiling.
I sent her back to the nurses' office after school to change back into her clothes and to give the nurse back her way too small, dirty-white shirt.
I wrote an email to the principal, the teacher that approached her this morning, and also the district. All I want is a phone call in the future so that I can drive over to the school with a change of clothes. Of course, I don't forsee that happening because she follows dress code and causes no issues. What about all the girls wearing booty shorts, so short that you can see cheek? What about the girls that roll their shirt up to expose that little bit of belly? What about the boys that are cussing on the playground or causing fights? You think I'm kidding don't you. Kids these days are a changing! It's not pretty.
I have a modest girl who gets perfect grades, works hard, listens well and doesn't cause trouble. Why single her out? Not cool. I am done venting. All I'm saying is that it better not happen again.
16 comments:
Tell Kamryn if it happens again to call you. Sounds like a person was having a bad day and wanted to Powertrip,sad she took it out on your stylish baby girl. Hate it when that happens. :(
I've read your blog for awhile, but never commented....this same thing happened to my niece, while my sister was talking to the principal,another girl came to his office in booty shorts, a cami, and knee boots...turned out it was his daughter. My niece is in another school and doing very well.
Suzie
Wow. I'm so sorry she had to go through that. I think her outfit was totally appropriate! I can't believe they didn't call you! I would have been pretty angry too.
Poor Kamryn! She is such a good kid and I bet she was mortified that a teacher told her she was doing something wrong (even though she wasn't)! And I completely agree with you about their outfit choice being more immodest than the original outfit.
But, I would understand more if the teacher that stopped her was new or if she misunderstood the dress code. I think you did the right thing by contacting them, because if they did have the wrong idea about the dress code, you're bringing it to their attention and hopefully fixing the misunderstanding.
What a bunch of crap! I'm glad you contacted the school. They should have given her the opportunity to call you. Poor Kamryn :(
i would be sooooo mad!!! good for you for contacting the school.
The lack of common sense in some of our educators is astounding. Sometimes they cannot see the big picture. I would have been furious. Please let us know how the school responds to you. They owe both you AND Kamryn an apology.
I think it was the black lace,and they thought it looked like lingerie,and not age appropriate.
Gotta keep those boys eyes in the books!
I would have had a melt down all over that business! Kam is not the type of kid to ever make a scene cause she is so shy to begin with. I think you look beautiful Kamryn. Don't let days like that bug you! We got yo back!
omg, how ridiculous!!! tell kamryn that if this happens again, that SHE wants to call you! this is so dumb... too bad you didn't take a picture of her in what she was given to wear for the day.. I would've loved to have seen that... because honestly who on earth would think something that it soo small and too tight is BETTER than what she was wearing? UGH! *Megan from WI*
I agree that the way this situation was handled was completely inappropriate and you dd the right thing by contacting the school. It sounds like your daughter is a good student and doesn't cause trouble. If that outfit has been worn before with out issue it should have been fine. However, looking at the picture, I don't think it is appropriate for school as those straps are still really skinny and I don't consider a lace vest really a vest. I also have an 11 year old and while she could wear that outfit at home, it would never fly for school.
Jenny, it is a good thing you don't make those decisions, or young women would probably be required to wear FLDS compound dresses. Deciding what children at her school can and cannot wear is the school districts decision. If what she was wearing fell in line with the rules and she felt comfortable wearing it, then the teacher had no right to make her change. Just because a teacher doesn't like an outfit doesn't mean they can do this. It also sounds like they need to have a training session to go over the dress code rules again and how to handle in the future.
At a minimum, they should have called you and they should remove the unexcused tardy.
OMG!!! Your daughter looks nice! My son is in high school. You should see what some of the girls wear. I'm glad you contacted the school.
That is RIDICULOUS! I would let my daughter wear that outfit to school too. I don't think there is anything inappropriate about it. I'm glad you are such a pro active momma and got in touch with the school. I'm sorry that happened to her. :(
I've been a silent blog follower. A similar thing happened to me when I was a freshman in high school (17 years ago) and I still remember it vividly. I was reaching to get something out of my locker and my stomach showed and my outfit was suddenly inappropriate. I was sent to the office and told to either call my parents or wear a size large adult shirt that went past my shorts. Since both my parents were at work, I opted for the big shirt to not inconvenience them.
Hang in there Kamryn! You've got a great mom that will stick up for you.
Anonymous, had you read my comment I said if she had worn it before and it fit in that dress code it should have been allowed and that it was not handled correctly.
Just because I don't let my middleschooler wear a similar outfit to school does not mean you should make assumptions about me. In fact it did not look like it would even fit within our school's dress code. I was only stating my opinion and did so respectfully. Not anonymously or with baseless inaccurate assumptions.
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